The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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