she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize