i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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