Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
