you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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