I wish my penis had an off switch
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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