i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
