guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize