I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
