My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
