yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize