That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
