conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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