420 ftw
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
