so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
