that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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