Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My ATM looks so different sober.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize