I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I am available for nakedness
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
