I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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