He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My vagina just clenched in fear
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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