I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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