you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
