maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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