So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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