none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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