forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
