somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
