Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
please don't ironically join a cult
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