His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
