Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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