fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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