I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
