Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
