Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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