If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
