Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
