i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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