Don't you send me to vm
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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