Are we in a gay sports bar?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
