I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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