I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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