I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
