I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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