i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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