he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
