there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
