Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
