careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize