glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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