Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize