I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
God, I missed his penis.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
