I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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