my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
