I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just googled if crying burns calories
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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