Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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