He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize