Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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