I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
