he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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