is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
