Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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