Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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