my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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