I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
