They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
