I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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