You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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