I just pynch a tree in the face
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
