what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
