watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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