you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
