Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize