Walk of Shame. In a state park.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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